Recently, one of my friends lost her brother. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was and imagined on hugging her tightly to ease her pain. But when I met her, the only thing that I was able to phrase was “How are you?”
We talked about her brother for a little while and then changed the course of conversation to a much lighter tone about movies and books as if nothing has changed. Maybe she changed the topic so that I can be comfortable being in her room with her. ‘I am comfortable with the pain you are in and I want to comfort to you’, I wanted to say. But all I was able to do was go along with the flow.
How do you comfort a person (stronger than you) who has gone through such a major loss? How do you fill the gap piece by piece so that the whole frame won’t fall apart? Is just sitting quietly in one room enough, conveying the message that I am here for you?
Apparently there is no hard and fast rule on how to make other people feel better, it gets harder if that friend is one of your dear ones. I told her to keep busy so that she can’t spare any time for her pain. Sorry friend, but this was only way I could think of comforting you and keeping you away from your aching thoughts.
I wanted to tell you the other time to share with me everything so that you can feel light. Tell me everything about him so that I can know what he was like as we have never talked about him till now. I traced my steps till your door many a time after the first meeting but was not able to enter the door thinking I might disturb you in some way and may cause you more pain, in my carelessness.
Yet, next time we met, all I could do was pass a smile to let you know that I am there for you.